Zac & Nikki: Who Better To Love ch. 4

Who Can Say Good-bye?

Theme: A fictionalized account of the relationship between Zac Efron and Nikki Blonsky, based on a reasonable number of real facts and an abundance of my wishful thinking.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story, as they are real people, and that would be a Human Rights violation. But wishing I owned them: totally okay, and really quite natural!

Rating: PG-ish? There’s smexiness, but no out-and-out smut.

We pick up where Chapter 3 left off, on Zac and Nikki’s weekend alone. Was this a one-time encounter, the start of a new relationship, or… something else? And where does Vanessa fit into the mix?




Chapter 4: Who Can Say Good-bye?


She woke with a start, as her arm stretched out and she felt him lying beside her. It was the morning after the night before, and it was her first. Without moving another muscle, her mind flooded with the images of his naked body, of what he had done to drive her wild and give her peace. As she slowly turned her head to look his way, he smiled at her with his eyes. Nikki gasped, and blushed, and looked anywhere but at him. When Zac’s hand reached and grasped hers softly, she finally allowed herself to look at him.


“Good-morning.”


“Morning,” she replied.


“How are you? I mean, how are you feeling?” he asked, softly, his touch and his voice reassuring her.


”Well… pretty good, actually,” she chuckled, letting her eyes now freely roam up and down his body, covered only to his waist by the white cotton sheet.


“Hey, eyes here, Blonsky!” he laughed, two fingers pointing at his eyes. “I’ll be right back, okay?” and he kissed her softly.


She watched his every move as he threw back the sheet and walked, naked, to the bathroom. His skin was soft and smooth, and his ass was round and firm like the dancer he had become. Grabbing his robe from a chair, he turned and gave her a wink from the doorway. When he was out of sight, she lay back and closed her eyes. She stretched and giggled to herself, like Scarlett O’Hara remembering her night with Rhett, the night that Rhett had finally let go and given her everything he had wanted. But, Zac was still here in the morning. He was still hers and she was his and they were theirs together - for now.


Looking around the room, she spotted the trail of clothes. She slipped out of bed, from under the warm comforter she had apparently stolen from him in the night, and picked up the discarded garments. Pulling on her panties and t-shirt, she jumped back into bed as he came out of the bathroom.


“Aww, why’d you go and do that?” he asked, as he noticed the t-shirt.


Nikki laughed at his genuine disappointment.


“Well, it just gives me something to take off again later,” he smirked.


All day it was them, reaching and holding and needing and taking. It was lazy hours making love, exploring each other’s bodies. It was pancakes, and ice cream from the pint. It was warm water all around as he held her close to him in the tub. It was never leaving his apartment all day, and never once wanting to. And, late that night, it was holding hands with knowing eyes, as they agreed this weekend had been their time. Tomorrow, the world would be back and they couldn’t let anyone know.


They couldn’t let anyone know, and they couldn’t let it happen again.


“So, you just have the one scene today?” she asked, as they were waiting for the van to take them to set in the morning.


“Yeah, at the door, with John. God, I’ve been running that through my head for weeks,” he answered. “My one scene alone with John Travolta! I’m kinda freaking out right now!”


“Don’t be nervous!” and she took his hand. “Believe me, there’s nothing to be nervous about. I just kept thinking that he was, like, my mom, or dad, and it was always great!”


When Zac arrived on set, in costume, hair, and make-up, he had just begun to overcome his anxiety. It didn’t last very long. One of the production assistants handed him a rewrite for his scene. Every line had been changed, and he might only get one chance to get it right. Zac then looked across the set and spotted him. There was John, dressed as Edna, talking to Nikki, dressed as Tracy. When John looked over at Zac, there was something in those eyes that shook him to the core. Did he know? How could he know?


Zac didn’t know how he made it through the scene. Every second that John looked at him, he felt like he was giving himself away - that John knew what he had done. And that Nikki’s own parents would know what he done to their little girl. He was terrified that they would find out, and guilty that he had broken their trust in him.


All day, when shooting, or waiting (which they did a lot more of) they felt that every eye was on them. That everyone knew what they had done. Every look and every comment seemed to imply that their secret was out. And, when Karen stopped by the set that afternoon, asking if they’d managed to keep themselves busy and entertained all weekend, they both were almost sick.


As Monday became Tuesday, and the rest of the cast returned, they gradually felt comfortable enough to let their guard down, a little. But they did their very best to keep their hands to themselves, and avoided being seen alone together. With each day, they felt more confident that their secret was safe. What they didn’t realize was that every look and every touch had been slowly giving them away for months, and it was this sudden awkwardness and distance that drew the attention to a few observant eyes. But if anyone suspected what had happened between them, they never let on.


Tap-tap-tap.


Tap-tap. Tap-tap.

Hearing his reply, Nikki opened the connecting door in their trailer. Zac was standing there in his jeans, low on his hips with his boxers showing. A towel was slung over his shoulder. Nikki took a deep breath, letting it out slowly through her mouth. Zac had just washed his hair in the sink, and water was dripping down his chest. Following a drop with her eyes, Nikki remembered how his skin and nipples felt on her tongue. How his arms felt as she gripped them. How his wet hair felt when it grazed her cheek in the tub.


“God, Zac! I thought you’d be ready to go.” She tried to concentrate on his eyes, but that didn’t help. His eyes were one of the sexiest parts of him. Her heart raced as he motioned for her to sit beside him on his couch.


“Nikki, I don’t know if I can last much longer. It’s taken everything I had this week to keep my hands off you.“ As he said this, his hand was on her back and he was breathing heavily into her ear. “And then hearing you so close, knowing you were in there getting dressed. It’s driving me crazy.”


“Me too. But…” and he was sucking on her earlobe. “But we can’t,” she whispered, breathlessly. “You know why…” and his other hand was squeezing her breast. Her head fell back and her eyes closed and she forgot the reasons why or why not. She grabbed his head and kissed him, his mouth open and his tongue ready for hers. His arms were around her, and her fingers were tugging at his wet hair.


Lalala lalala la la lala la Ohhh


“It’s Amanda!” they shouted together, hearing the Rihanna melody, and they jumped apart. Zac laughed nervously as Nikki took her phone out of her purse, trying to catch her breath.


“Hello…. Hi, Amanda…. Almost. Give me ten minutes?” and she looked at Zac, who shook his head. “I’ll go get Zac and meet you… No, he should be ready by then!” she laughed. “Okay, see you soon!” and she closed her phone.


“You’d better finish getting ready. I’ve given you a deadline now!” she laughed. Then, more seriously, she said, “Look, I think we need to talk. I… I’m going crazy, too. Tonight? After the club?”


“Yeah. Tonight,” and he could still taste her as he watched her walk back through the connecting door.


They made it to dessert before he called. The plan, the lie, they had come up with by the washrooms an hour earlier. He was her friend, Noelle, calling from New York, needing to talk. She said that she would go home as soon as she could, and call her back. Brittany offered to go back to the hotel with her, and they both pretended not to hear. Zac had already said he would go with her, and would try to meet up with everyone later at the club.


And that was the start of it. Nikki would sneak out of her apartment when her mom was asleep, and creep down the hall to Zac’s. It was exciting and it was sexy, and it gave them the strength to make it through their work. Knowing they would have those hours alone let them concentrate and be professional on set. It let them relax and just have fun together, and with the rest of the cast. They were laughing again, with arms around waists and heads on shoulders, just being Zac and Nikki B. They could talk quietly together, go to the mall, or dance at a club, and they didn’t worry that everyone might know, or that everyone was watching them. In fact, they were probably more playful than they even realized. And if anyone thought there was more there than friendship, they never said.


They continued like that for more than a month. Everyday they grew even closer, not just as lovers but as friends. They could always make each other laugh, and everyone else around them. There was always something to say or something to do, whether they were alone or on set with hundreds of people around. When he went out without her, since she had to shoot so much more than anyone else, he missed her. So much, that he would often visit the set just to watch her work, and talk to her between takes. He relied on her more than he had relied on anyone before, and he wondered if she felt the same way. But, what it all meant, and where it could go, where they wanted it to go, neither of them knew.


“I can’t believe you’re leaving tomorrow. I mean, I’ve known it… forever, but, it was always so far away.”


“I know. I’m exhausted, and I just want to sleep for, like, a month!” he tried to laugh. “But, I’m gonna miss it here. Everything. Everyone,” and he leaned down to her, forehead to forehead, and whispered, “I’m gonna miss you.”


Most of the cast were leaving in the next few days, and tonight was the farewell party. They were in a roomful of people, and were trying to be discrete. Everyone was dancing and mingling around, and they hoped they would go unnoticed in their corner.


“Can I still see you tonight, Nikki?”


“Of course! Actually, I told my mom I was spending the night with you tonight!”


“What!”


“Kidding! Sort of. No, I told her I promised I’d help you pack, and we were gonna just hang out, being your last night, and we might just crash on the couch again. It worked, that time we fell asleep and I didn’t get home until she was already up in the morning!”


“Oh. Okay. God, you freaked me out! Well, that sounds great, then! And, so you aren’t a complete liar,” and she gasped and pretended to be offended, “you can actually help me pack!”


When his bags were packed and every trace of him was gone from the apartment, he looked around the stark surroundings and sighed. Five months. This had been his home for more than five months, and now he was leaving. He stepped out to the balcony and leaned on the railing, letting his eyes wander over downtown Toronto. He knew it would sound cliché to anyone else, but he really felt like he had grown up here. Like the boy was gone, and he was on his way to becoming a man.


“I have something for you, Zac,” and her arm was around his waist. He had been so absorbed in his thoughts, he hadn’t heard her approach. He turned and wrapped his arms around her and smiled.


“For me?”


“Mmm-hmm. Here,” and she handed him a small box. It was wrapped in shiny blue paper, and had a silver ribbon around it. He pulled the ribbon slowly, carefully. He removed the paper in one piece and opened the box. Inside, wrapped in a soft handkerchief with the initials M.B. embroidered on it, was an old silver dollar. Zac took it out and turned it over in his fingers. He looked at Nikki with a puzzled expression.


“When I was eleven, and some girls at school were teasing me, like they did everyday, I came home and cried my eyes out on my grandma’s lap. She let me cry and talk and get it all out. She didn’t try to say it didn’t matter, or that I would get over it. She knew how much it hurt, and that I just needed her to listen to me. And, when I was feeling a little better, she gave me this silver dollar. She told me that it was the most valuable thing she owned, because she was sure it had some special powers that protected her from being hurt.” Zac listened intently to Nikki’s words, the tears in his eyes matching those in her own. “I was old enough to know it wasn’t magical or anything, but there was just something about it. I always felt, when I had it with me, that nobody could really hurt me, down deep, anymore. I don’t need it now, Zac. I want you to have it,” she finished, as a tear ran down her cheek.


“Nikki, I can’t…”


“Yes, you can. This is the most special thing anyone had ever given me, until you…. You gave me…” and she looked down, unable to finish her thought. “And, if it really does protect, I think you need that more than me now. You’ve got a lot of people that want something from you, and a lot of people that will want to watch you fall.” He held her in his arms, with her head resting against his chest, for a long time. The silver dollar he squeezed in his hand. He didn’t want to let go of either one.


That night, they lay in his bed, silently. Everything they had to say had either been said, or wasn’t important enough to break the silence. He rubbed her back and ran his fingers through her hair. She kept her arms wrapped around him, her head on his chest. They slept like that all night, and it wasn’t until the late-autumn dawn broke through the window that they made love.


They said their good-byes in his apartment that morning. Neither of them thought they could face a big farewell at the airport. He gave her a small box, wrapped in yellow-flowered paper with a thick purple ribbon. “Open in later, okay?” and she nodded, slipping it into her bag.


They both wanted their last moments together, maybe the last time they would see each other for months, to be as happy as possible. So they joked about airplane food and hoping he wouldn’t lose his luggage, and nothing they would remember a few minutes later. They held each other in their arms, and kissed slowly and softly before she turned to leave. As she opened the door, his phone rang, and she turned around and blew him a kiss.


As soon as she got into the hallway she opened his gift. It was a small, beautiful, handmade journal. He must have noticed that her other book was nearly full of poems and bits of lyrics she had written. She had to thank him, so she pulled out the key card she still had in her bag, and opened his door.


“Any minute. I just have to call the front desk to get someone to help carry my bags down.” He was standing across the room, with his back to the door; she didn’t want to interrupt his call. “Yeah, I’ll call you as soon as I land, okay?... I will…. I miss you, too. I love you, baby!... Bye, Van.” And he never heard the door close behind him.


Buckling his seatbelt, getting ready for take-off, he thought about the next few weeks. He was going to his parents’ house. He needed time to think things through about Vanessa, to try to understand things with Nikki. Did he still love Vanessa? Did he love Nikki? Or was it just a fling, a mistake? Maybe it just happened because he was away from home and everything was different? Did he really feel about Nikki, the way he thought he did? Did he take advantage of her? Did she really feel the way about him, that he thought she did? That she thought she did? So many questions were swimming in his mind, he couldn’t keep track of any train of thought. So, as the plane took off, he turned on his ipod to random play. The song that blasted into his ears nearly killed him.


Whenever you’re near me, I hear a symphony, a tender melody, pulling me closer, closer to your arms.


He remembered the night she played that song for him, the song that now meant her. The song he’d never heard before, but had to have, like he had to have her.


Baby, baby, you bring much joy within. Don’t let this feeling end. Let it go on and on and on.


There she was, dancing for him, her hips and breasts and swinging hair daring him to touch her, to take her. There were her eyes, that always looked for him across a crowded room. There were her lips, who’s smile made him smile. There were her small hands, that held his when he was worried or upset. And, as he watched Toronto slowly disappear, all he wanted to do was jump off that plane and run home, to her.