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11 February 2008 @ 09:02 pm
"Who Better To Love" ch. 5  
Zac and Nikki: Who Better To Love ch. 5

What Happens in Vegas… But, Does It?



Disclaimer: I do not own any of the people in this story, as they are real people and that would just be wrong. But, I do really wish that I owned Zac and Nikki!

Rating: R

Please see links to the first four chapters "under the cut"



Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to Jess (happy birthday!), Carrie, and Ash, who have all been kind enough to pester me to finally get the chapter finished!

I'm sorry that I haven't updated since November (bad me!) but I hope that you are still with me on the series! There is a lot more to come.

For those of you who haven't read the previous chapters, please do!

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

Also, if you are not familiar with the song "Total Eclipse of the Heart" you may want to take a listen, since it comes up in the story. Unfortunately, neither of these videos have the last verse that I use at the end of the chapter, but, c'est la vie.

Bonnie Tyler
or if you prefer
Westlife

This chapter picks up with the other end of the phone conversation that Zac had with Vanessa before he left Toronto. Before you begin, some little things to remember from the last chapter are the Supreme's song that Nikki played for him, the night they slept together for the first time. She played that song, and danced, and he got up from the couch and put his arms around her, and that was her way of saying she was ready. Also, before he left to go back home, she gave him a gift. A silver dollar that her grandmother had given her.


Chapter 5: What Happens in Vegas… But, Does It?



“So, that was pretty quick. How did he sound?”

“I don’t know. Kind of… strange. Well, he said he was getting ready to leave, so he was probably just in a hurry, I guess. I wish I was going to be home when he got back. I mean, he’s been gone so long, and I’ll be on tour for two more months.”

“Don’t worry, Nessa. We’ll be back in California in a couple of days. He’ll come to one of those shows for sure!”

“Yeah, you’re right, Ash. I just miss him so much!”

“I know, Nessa,” and she put her arm around her friend’s waist. “But you’ll see him in a few days, I guarantee it!”


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Zac returned home to his parents’ house in Arroyo Grande, with his heart and mind heavy with confusion. Had he fallen in love with Nikki? Or was it an illusion, orchestrated by the extreme closeness and familiarity experienced by every company of actors living and working together. It’s what happened with him and Vanessa. But that turned out to be real, as they had been together for over a year. But, was it real? Was it still? He just didn’t know anymore. He didn’t know his own mind, and he didn’t know his own heart.

When he closed his eyes on the long ride home from the airport, all he saw was her. She was cheering! The Yankees had made another run, and she was on her feet waving her arms in the air, spilling her popcorn all over his lap. Her joy drew him to his feet, and his arm around her shoulder. The scent of her hair as she hugged him made him wonder, just wonder, about this girl. Closing his eyes again, she was dancing. Not dressed as Tracy, in the stiff teased hair and puffy plaid skirt, but as Nikki, in a tight black top that showed miles of cleavage. Her breasts and soft flowing hair were bouncing lightly to the beat of the music in the club, where she was dancing just with him. He had wondered then what it would be like to touch her. Then, sleeping close beside him on their last night together, her arm around his waist and her round hip like a gently sloping hill beneath the sheet.

He couldn’t wait to call her when he got home. He dropped his bags, pulled out his phone, and closed his bedroom door. The sound of her voice made his heart race and his smile widen and the confusion was pushed back, for the moment.


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“So, Zac made it home okay, I gather.”

“Yeah, Mom. He had just walked in the door when he called me, so he sounded really tired, but happy to be home.”

“Happy, huh?” and Karen gave Nikki a sideways glance that seemed to suggest she knew something. Nikki blushed and lowered her eyes. He had told her how much he missed her, that he hadn’t stopped thinking about her from the moment she left his apartment, and he didn’t know how he was going to sleep tonight without kissing her, holding her, touching her. It had made her forget what she had overheard, forget that he had called Vanessa “baby” and said he loved her. She had wanted any excuse to forget.

“Nik, I know that you’re eighteen now, and you have the right to your own privacy, but I’m your mom, so I’m going to ask. Did something happen between you and Zac?” Nikki’s blush deepened and she opened her mouth to protest. She stopped the quick denial, and closed her mouth again, averting her eyes. She had never lied to her mother before.

“We kissed once,” she answered, a moment later, looking up into her mother’s eyes. “That’s it. We kissed, not for the movie but just us. But, we’re just friends, Mom.” Karen nodded her head, smiled, and didn’t ask anything else. She trusted her daughter. If Nikki didn’t want to freely tell her, she wasn’t going to push her. But as much as she felt there was more to it, she never imagined they’d been sneaking off to sleep together for the last six weeks!


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“Zac, I have to ask you something.” The look in Vanessa’s eyes, and the tone in her voice, caught him off guard.

It was Christmas Eve. Zac drove down to LA to spend a few hours with Vanessa before she had to return to the tour in two days. It was the first time he had seen her in over two months, since his week’s holiday in California in early October. He hadn’t managed to make it to one of the California HSM concerts after all. He hadn’t really tried.

“OK. What is it?” he asked, sitting beside her on the couch.

Vanessa held his photo album in her hands. She had been flipping through the pages while Zac was getting a drink, and couldn’t help noticing all the faces she didn’t know, might never know. All the friends that he had made. All the pretty girls that he had spent the last 5 months with.

Zac looked over at the photo album. Her hand was resting on one of the pictures, and it made his heart leap into his throat. He was in the picture, with his arm around a beautiful girl. He remembered that morning. They were in his apartment with a few friends, hanging out after shooting all night. Brittany picked up his camera and took a picture of them, laughing together, not an inch between them on the loveseat. Although he and Nikki had been surprised by the flash, it was his favourite picture of them.

Zac took a long, deep breath while he collected his thoughts. But she just flipped the page. She’d hardly noticed Nikki in the picture at all.

“There are so many girls in here, Zac. Pictures of you with so many girls. Who are they? Like, her,” and she pointed to one of the Council girls. “Or her,” and she pointed to one of the Detention girls. “You look so close with them. This one,” she tapped the face of a beautiful brunette, wearing a low-cut dress, who had her arms around his waist, “who is she?” Vanessa flipped the page again, and pointed to another pretty face.

“Van! Stop it! They’re just friends. All of them, they’re just friends. You know how close everybody got. We were together for months, working together, living together…”

“I need to know, Zac. I’ve been worrying about it for months. I need to know…”

He took her hand from the page of the photo album and held it to his heart. “Nothing happened with any of those girls. Nothing ever happened,” he insisted, shaking his head.

Nikki, her hand under his t-shirt, rubbing his back.

“They’re just my friends, people I worked with and we hung out.”

Nikki, licking his neck as he squeezed her breast.

“I promise.”

Nikki, staring down into his eyes as she took him inside of her.

“I love you.”

He wiped the tears from her eyes, and she kissed him softly. She stood up and dropped the album carelessly onto the couch. As she took his hand, he glanced at the page before he stood up. Standing together under an umbrella, Zac had Rocky in one arm and Nikki in the other. They were smiling despite the cold and wet, windy weather. They were smiling because they were together. A moment earlier, his heart had leapt to his throat with nerves. Now it sunk to the pit of his stomach with guilt. He took one final glance at that rosy-cheeked face before Vanessa led him to her bedroom.


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Nikki closed her phone and tossed it on her bed before walking to her window. She stood there, arms around herself, partly from the cold and partly from the hollowness she was feeling. It had been four days since she had talked to him. Four days since he had arrived in Utah. It was the longest they had gone without talking since they had met.

When they had first returned home, they talked everyday, for hours. If not on the phone, then they were on msn. They were always able to talk about anything and everything, so easily. They talked about Toronto, and the movie, and their friends, and what they were doing at home, and their plans. And, yes, sometimes the conversations got a little heated, late at night, when their houses were quiet, and they turned off the lights and imagined they were together again.

Just after Christmas, Nikki called but Zac was on his way out to see some friends. He said he’d call her later, but he didn’t. Over the next few weeks, they often went a day without one or the other calling. But they still had that easiness between them when they talked. They still had that aching between them that they were apart.

But now it had been four days. Zac had called her his first night in St. George. They arrived late that morning and had already put in six hours of dance rehearsals. He knew it would be more like eight or ten hours the next day. He had called her that night, and they spoke just for a few minutes. He said he was exhausted, and wanted an early night and a good, long rest before a full day of rehearsals, and he would call her tomorrow. She waited, but the call didn’t come.

“He’s tired, and busy, and settling into a new home and a new set, and reconnecting with old friends,” she reasoned, to herself. She wouldn’t think about who else might be taking up a lot of his time.

Standing at her window, she looked out over her backyard. The moonlight glistened on the fresh snow, and it seemed to sparkle like a field of diamonds. Closing her eyes, she recalled the last moment of their phone call:

”I miss you so much! I can’t believe it’s been two months. It feels like… it feels like 2 years! I have to see you, Nik.”

“How, Zac? You know we can’t….”

“I know. I know, but…,” he sighed. “I know.

‘I miss…
being with you. But, I miss you . I miss hanging out with you, I miss hearing you laugh, and hearing you sing. I miss your eyes, and your hands, and-“

“Zac! Stop! You’re going to make me cry,” and a little laugh broke through the choked-back sob.

“I’m sorry, darlin’. I just-“

Knock – knock – knock.

“Shit! I have to go. I –“ he stopped himself. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay. I miss you. Night!”

“Night!”



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“Uh, helloooooo! Do you ever talk about anyone else from that movie,” Monique laughed.

Zac was taken aback at her comment, stopping himself in mid-sentence.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“We’ve only been here a week, and I think I know more about Nikki Blonsky than I do about you sometimes!” she laughed, grabbing herself a bottle of water from the craft services table.

Zac hadn’t realized that he was talking about Nikki that much.

“Nikki this and Nikki that! Does somebody have himself a crush?” she winked.

Zac blushed, and stammered out a response. “No, of course not! She’s just my friend. What do you mean…? But she’s great, and really talented, and funny. I guess we hung out a lot. A lot of my stories involve her, in some way…,” and his voice trailed off, his eyes lowering.

“Talking about Miss B. again, is he?” Ryan asked, reaching across a startled Zac to grab a muffin from the table.

“I was not! I was telling Mo about…”

“Yes, he was!” Monique interrupted. “Don’t be so sensitive, Zac. I was just teasing. I think it’s great that you made such a good friend. Friends are the most important thing in the world, after family. You can never have too many!”

“I would just watch what you said in front of Nessa, though. She might get the wrong idea,” Ryan said, lightly patting Zac on the back.

Monique and Ryan continued onto the rehearsal studio, leaving a shaken Zac standing by the table alone. From then on, he would have to be much more cautious about what he said about Nikki. Vanessa was jealous enough as it was. He didn’t need to give her a reason.


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“So, Bryan’s pretty cute, huh, Nik?”

“Mom! I don’t know. I guess so.” She looked away, blushing.

“Well, he is. And he likes you, too.”

“We’re just friends, Mom. We just like hanging out. He doesn’t like me. Not like that.”

“Sounds like another friend of hers,” Karen thought. “Do you like him? Like that?” she asked.

“Mom!” and she grabbed the bowl of popcorn, leaving a chuckling Karen alone in the kitchen.

“Hey, Nikki! Mmm, the popcorn smells great! Did you make it yourself?” as he took a handful. “Wow, it’s great! You’re a good cook!”

Nikki couldn’t help but laugh at Bryan trying so hard. “Thanks, but it’s just popcorn. Pour kernels in hot machine, and wait for them to pop! Add butter and salt, toss, and stuff in mouth!”

“Oh… well, it must be your expert tossing skills that makes it so good then!” and he laughed with her, his face flushed.

“Yeah, that must be it! So, what are we watching?” She passed him a can of Coke.

“Oh, this is fantastic! It Happened One Night. Have you seen it?” He continued, as Nikki shook her head. “One of the first screwball comedies, with Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert. 1934. I have to write a paper on it for one of my classes, but I thought you might like to watch it with me.”

“Sounds great! I haven’t seen it before, but I remember Adam mentioning it and said I should see it.” She nestled into the cushions of the couch, throwing a blanket over her legs, while he turned the movie on.

Later, Nikki turned back to the TV, after glancing at Bryan taking notes. She was enjoying the movie, but, like usual lately, her mind began to drift.

“Zac and I were going to watch this, but we never got around to it,” she thought. “We were going to watch a lot of movies that we never got around to. Too much…” and she giggled softly to herself, thinking of all the movies they had started to watch but didn’t make it much further than the opening credits.

“What’s that?” Bryan asked? “Did I miss a joke?”

“What? No! I was just thinking of something else. Sorry,” and she bit her lip to stifle her embarrassed laugh.

Her eyes were focused on Claudette and Clark, but her mind was back on Zac. She missed him so much. She had talked to him yesterday, but it had been a few days before that. He was never on msn anymore, and she wasn’t going to send him another e-mail until he answered her last one. She was so confused. When they did talk, he told her how much he missed her, how much he needed to see her. But then he’d seem to ignore her calls for days. She knew he was busy, and that friends can drift apart, but she cared about him too much to let that happen. There was too much between them to let that happen. But she was beginning to feel like a stowaway, like she was hiding and didn’t belong, and he only let her out for air when it was convenient for him. And yesterday’s call confused her even more.

”I can’t wait to see you, Darlin’! Just 2 more days! I can’t wait to… dammit. I have to go.”

“But Zac, you just called! I miss you! I just want to talk to you. I just want to hear your voice. Tell me about something stupid on set or what kind of trees they have in Utah or what you ate for breakfast. I don’t care. But don’t ignore me! I don’t…”

“I know, Nik! I’m sorry! But, I have to go,” he whispered, then continued, in a louder voice. “I’ll talk to you later, Dylan. Bye,” and the line went dead.



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Vanessa laughed to herself as she walked through Zac’s Casita in St. George. The bathroom door was half-open, and she could hear him singing in the shower again. She stood by the door, listening, trying to make out what he was singing.

Whenever you’re near me, I hear a symphony, a tender melody, pulling me closer, closer to your arms.

Glancing across the hall into his bedroom, she noticed his duffel bag open and half-filled with clothes.

Baby, baby, you bring much joy within. Don’t let this feeling end. Let it go on and on and on.

“What is he singing? It sounds so familiar.” Her attention returned to Zac’s voice, as she absentmindedly picked up a silver dollar from the bathroom counter.

Baby, baby, as you stand holding me, whispering how much you care, a thousand violins fill the air.

He shut the water off then, and grabbed a towel that was hooked on the outside of the glass shower door.

“Dammit, Van! You scared me!” he exclaimed, after sliding open the shower door.

Vanessa laughed, and asked, “What were you singing in there, Zac? I’ve heard you sing that before, but I can’t place it. It sounds like the Supremes or something like that!” she laughed, turning the silver dollar over and under her fingers.

“What are you doing with that?” Zac shouted, and took the coin.

Vanessa was startled, as the warm piece of metal was taken from her hand. Zac grabbed another, smaller towel, and walked to his bedroom, closing the door behind him.


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At last.

Standing off to the side, back stage, with her back to him, he knew her immediately. Her black dress, with sparkles catching every light as she moved, drew his eyes to her like a lost boy looking to the stars to find his way home. Her soft, brown hair was down, and her arms were bare. The hair he loved to run his fingers through, and the arms that held him tight.

His heart was racing, but his legs were frozen to the floor. It wasn’t until she heard someone call his name that she turned around, and, after catching his eyes watching her, quickly looked away.

He found the courage to walk across the scuffed floor to her. Courage? He needed courage to talk to Nikki? The butterflies in his stomach said yes. Seeing him approach, the dancer that Nikki was talking to gave her a quick hug and said she’d see her later. Nikki stayed grounded to the floor, her back to him still.

“Turn around, bright eyes,” he whispered into her ear, his lips brushing against her hair. His hand slid along her back, to hold her waist. “I missed you at my rehearsal this afternoon. They said you were already finished and….” She turned around slowly in his arm, and looked up at him. She wasn’t smiling, and her eyes were all questions.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Zac asked, softly, although he was sure he knew the answer. Without waiting for her to respond, he said, “I know I should have called more often lately. And I’m an ass for not answering your last few e-mails. And calling you Dylan, on the phone, I don’t have any excuses. Just…” and he averted his eyes. “There’s always somebody around. I never have a moment to myself. The only time I have alone is when I go into town. I just wander around and think for hours, and go back to the golf club more confused than before. But I know that I missed you. It’s complicated. No. Don’t.” and he put a finger to her lips as she began to speak. “I missed you. All I could think about the last two weeks was being able to see you. As soon as Adam called me about this show, all I could think about was you.”

“It sure didn’t seem that way when you were ignoring me.”

“You know…”

“Zac, I can’t do this. I can’t…” and she stepped back from his arms.

“Nik, I need to see you…”

“I have to go on in a few minutes. I can’t…” and she walked away, shaking her head, her arms tense at her sides.

Zac stood there for several minutes, his hands in the pockets of his black suit pants. His thumb was running over the texture of the large coin in his pocket, as he listened to the opening of “Good Morning Baltimore.”

“So, Nikki, what do you think of ShoWest? This is your first time here, right?” Ben Lyons asked, after they were introduced, following the cast’s performances. Nikki chatted with him for a moment before she noticed Zac watching her from across the room. Nikki was all smiles and giggles and flipping her hair, as she shot sideways glances at Zac. Ben leaned down to tell her something that made her laugh.

“Nikki, the photographer needs us now,” he interrupted. “Everyone’s ready for the cast photos.” He turned to Ben and nodded once, reached out his hand to shake Ben’s, and introduced himself. Before Ben could respond with much more than his own name, Zac had taken Nikki by the arm and was leading her away to the couch where the cast was assembling. They smiled through the shoot, his arm reaching around her, his hand grazing her bottom surreptitiously. Her smiles let him hope, but he was once again dejected when she quickly left the set with Brittany when the shoot was finished.

“Nikki. Please, talk to me. I need to talk to you. I need to see you. I need-“ when he cornered her in the dining room a short time later.

“The last month, you’ve hardly talked to me at all, and you had plenty of opportunities,” she retorted.

“I told you, it’s hard-“

“Don’t make excuses. I won’t lie, Zac. I was looking forward to seeing you today, more than anything, but now… I need to think. I need to… I don’t know what.” She smiled at John when he walked towards them, and took his outstretched hand to escort her to the dining table.

Nikki returned to her room after dinner with the cast, Adam, the choreographers, producers, and the relatives that some of them had brought along. She was thankful that she had her own hotel room, knowing that she would not be able to stand the questions her mother would surely ask after her mood during dinner. She had barely touched her food, pushing the chicken and broccoli around her plate, concentrating hard at not looking at the young man across the table and three seats down. The young man who couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. Giving a headache as an excuse for not joining everyone in the lounge, she returned to her room early. She knew that Karen would have fun with Adam and Todd, and hoped she would forget to worry about her daughter once they hit the slots.

Nikki had just sat down on the corner of her bed, her earrings on the dresser and her shoes kicked off, when there was a knock at the door. She thought it may have been Brittany, coming to ask her to join them all in the lounge again. Or her mom, checking on her after all.

He just stood there when she opened the door. His hands were in his pockets, and his head was hung low. His eyes were looking down, and he was silent.

The black suit was a little too big. The white shirt, unbuttoned at the collar. The skinny black tie loosened at his neck. His hair gelled and sticking up randomly. He looked like a little boy that was lost and had come to her to take him home.

She stepped out of the doorway, leaving the door open, and walked to the large window across the room. He entered, bolting the door behind him. Hearing the click of the bolt, her heart began to race and her thoughts became incoherent.

His arms were around her then, and he held her hands in his, at her chest. Her back was against his stomach and his chin was resting on her head. They stared out over the bright lights and neon signs of the Vegas strip for a long while, neither of them saying a word. A thousand different thoughts and choices ran through her mind. None of them felt right. But when he ran his cheek along her hair, when he kissed her cheek and lightly nibbled at her ear lobe, when he whispered her name and asked, “What can I do?” she closed her eyes and just breathed him in.

“Nikki. Turn around.”

“Bright eyes?”

“Yes. Do you remember? That song? That time we-”

“Mmmhmmm.” She lightly nodded her head against his chest, and sighed. “Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round,” she sang, slowly, barely more than a whisper.

“Turn around.” His voice was low and soft.

“Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears.” He held her tighter, gently squeezing her hands in his as he listened.

“Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild,” he sang into her hair. “Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms.”

“Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry,” she sang, so softly, he had to strain to hear her. “Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes.”

“Every now and then I fall apart.” He paused. “I need you tonight, Nikki. It’s not just a song.” She turned in his arms and stared up into his eyes. He had an effect on her that she had never understood.

“Have you always been this much of a dork?” she asked, smirking.

“Have you?” he answered, smiling widely, relief coming over his face as he wiped her tears away with his thumb.

When he kissed her, so softly, just barely brushing his lips against hers, the doubt and worry began to sink back down and she just thought of him. When his hands ran up and down her back, she just felt him. When his breath sounded in her ear as he held her close to him, her head resting against his shoulder, she just heard him. And when her hands slipped from his back to his ass, she just wanted him, knew he wanted her too, and hoped that was enough. She still hurt. She still felt angry. She still felt confused. Guilty. But wanting him, and he wanting her, was all she could think about.

He kissed her neck, lightly sucking at the soft, pale skin. His tongue darting out, he licked her ear and sucked on her earlobe. Her faint moan made him smile, the first real smile he’d had since seeing her that afternoon. She leaned back her head and looked again into his eyes.

“So, what’s with Ben Lyons?” he asked.

“Oh, a little this, a little that,” and she winked.

“I really missed you, Nikki. I never feel happier than when I’m with you.” He ran his finger along a strand of hair at her temple.

“Then why-“

“Do you remember what you said to me, the first night we…,” he interrupted, and she looked up at him questioningly. “You said, ‘I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. But I know that we have this tonight. Just give me this, and we’ll figure the rest out later.’ Will you give me this tonight, Nik? I don’t have any answers yet. But, will you give me this tonight?”

“Show me how much you missed me.”

He leaned down and gently kissed her right shoulder several times, pulling the straps of her dress and bra down on that side. Nikki grasped the lapels of his jacket and pulled it down his arms, letting it drop to the floor. Zac kissed along her collar bone. She pulled at his tie, further loosening the knot until she could lift it over his head. He reached behind her and found the zipper of her dress, sliding it halfway down her back, which loosened her dress enough for him to enjoy her cleavage. Tossing the tie across the floor, she began to unbutton his white shirt. With each button, she kissed his neck then his chest then his stomach until his shirt was open. She tugged it from the waistband of his pants, and it, too, was pulled off and dropped to the floor. She reached her hands up to take his head and kissed him, soft and slow, like she knew he loved to kiss her. Her tongue licked and sucked his lips and he opened his mouth and tasted her, and they were gone. She kissed him harder, like she’d been wanting to all day; like she’d been wanting to for months.

Nikki grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked his head back after she broke the kiss. She stared into his eyes, their mouths open, their breath coming quickly. Zac took her hand in his, running his thumb along her wrist to find her pulse. He lifted it to his mouth and kissed it, feeling the rapid rhythm of her pulse as he held his lips there. Her hands were still in his hair, and she pulled him in to kiss her again.

Zac pulled up the fabric of her dress at her hips, slowly inching it up her body until the hem was at the top of her thighs. He crouched down and ran his fingers along the backs of her thighs, up and down, slowly moving forward then inward as she kissed him. His fingers pushed aside her panties, grazing her wet warmth as she moaned lightly into his mouth. Two fingers inside of her, his thumb on her clit, his hand moved in rhythm with their tongues. Her hand had traveled from his hair to his neck and down his back, gripping his strong frame for support. She was so close so soon, with his fingers and tongue, his other hand on her ass holding her steady. Nikki broke the kiss and threw her head back, her hands slamming against the floor-to-ceiling window as her hips thrust out towards him. She was swearing and breathing his name; she was still his New York girl. She came hard and fast, on his hand. Leaning back against the window, she followed his hand from her to his mouth, and he tasted her on his finger. One of his fingers in his mouth, she took the other in her mouth. Their faces were so close, both tasting her on his fingers.

Not able to wait another moment to relieve his erection, he spun her around and began to push her towards the bed. He quickly slid the zipper down and pushed her dress down her body while she undid his pants. She reached back and unclasped her bra, and he stepped out of his pants, every action moving them closer to her bed. Black lace panties and blue plaid boxers were on the floor, he was inside of her, and they were lost again.

Nikki woke up and looked at the clock. 4 a.m. They would have to get up and leave in a few hours. Zac was due back to the set in St. George that afternoon, and she didn’t know when she would see him next. She sat up a bit, adjusting the pillows behind her back. Zac, who had been laying close against her side, felt her move. In his sleep, he wrapped his arm around her and laid his head on her stomach. Nikki ran her fingers through his hair, now soft and clean from their bath. She listened to him breathe, her fingers in his hair, and the words came to her mind again. She sang to him, softly, in his sleep.

”Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be. Every now and then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am. Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wondrous as you. Every now and then I know there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do." She sighed, running her fingers along the touch of stubble on his jaw. "Every now and then I fall apart.”

Looking ahead, away from her, his eyes open, his mind ran her haunting words again and again, as she laid back and drifted off to sleep.


♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥


A month later, Nikki was at the drugstore picking up a few items for her trip to LA. She was looking forward to seeing Zac the next evening at the Young Hollywood Awards. She was so excited that they would both be receiving the One to Watch award. Nikki felt like it was something that connected them to each other. Zac had been better about keeping in touch since they were in Vegas, although she hadn’t heard from him in over a week. Just a postcard from Hawaii. A post-HSM2 celebration holiday, he had said in his e-mail.

Walking down the magazine aisle, she reached for a copy of her little indulgence, People magazine, when something on the corner of a tabloid caught her eye. A photo of Zac, on the beach, kissing Vanessa, with the heading, “Zanessa is real!”

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

A/N: Thank-you to Jules, as she told us about her cousin (from St. George) that saw Zac several times walking around town, by himself, looking less than happy.

A/N: Irish, I know that I have omitted the Billboards, but you're probably the only one that would have noticed the oversight! Don't kick me out of the Details Club, kay! lol
 
 
Current Mood: emo, but then naughty =P
Current Music: Total Eclipse of the Heart
 
 
( 25 comments — Post a new comment )
jessica3311[info]jessica3311 on February 12th, 2008 06:30 am (UTC)
OMG I feel so lucky that I got to read what u have so far...squeel...im not going to comment on the parts u PM'd me...here is some feedback:)

I love the opening bc he is trying to understand his feelings...he is falling for Nik...but what about V and he feel for her with his movie too....i like that...

And when he thinks of her and the baseball game...love the description:

"The Yankees had made another run, and she was on her feet waving her arms in the air, spilling her popcorn all over his lap. Her joy drew him to his feet, and his arm around her shoulder."

Love it:

"Nikki blushed and lowered her eyes. He had told her how much he missed her, that he hadn’t stopped thinking about her from the moment she left his apartment, and he didn’t know how he was going to sleep tonight without kissing her, holding her, touching her."

You are such a tease lol:

"And, yes, sometimes the conversations got a little heated, late at night, when their houses were quiet, and they turned off the lights and imagined they were together again."

haha i did that in my last fic but flirtiness with the both of them...i think u should have them do phone sex in a future chapter if they are still together :THUD:

OMG the flashbacks are killing me!!!!!!!!

Closing her eyes, she recalled the last moment of their phone call:
”I miss you so much! I can’t believe it’s been two months. It feels like… it feels like 2 years! I have to see you, Nik.”
“How, Zac? You know we can’t….”
“I know. I know, but…,” he sighed. “I know.
‘I miss… being with you. But, I miss you . I miss hanging out with you, I miss hearing you laugh, and hearing you sing. I miss your eyes, and your hands, and-“
“Zac! Stop! You’re going to make me cry,” and a little laugh broke through the choked-back sob.
“I’m sorry, darlin’. I just-“





jessica3311: Me[info]jessica3311 on February 12th, 2008 06:30 am (UTC)
More....
Who is the Bryan guy....hmmmm...

LMAO love her inner thoughts:)

“Zac and I were going to watch this, but we never got around to it,” she thought. “We were going to watch a lot of movies that we never got around to. Too much…” and she giggled softly to herself, thinking of all the movies they had started to watch but didn’t make it much further than the opening credits.


MOTHER EFFER......I COULD SLAP ZAC BESIDE THE HEAD....what an ASS!!!!!!!!!!

And yesterday’s call confused her even more.
But she was beginning to feel like a stowaway, like she was hiding and didn’t belong, and he only let her out for air when it was convenient for him. And yesterday’s call confused her even more.
”I can’t wait to see you, Darlin’! Just 2 more days! I can’t wait to… dammit. I have to go.”
“But Zac, you just called! I miss you! I just want to talk to you. I just want to hear your voice. ... I don’t care. But don’t ignore me! I don’t…”
“I know, Nik! I’m sorry! But, I have to go,” he whispered, then continued, in a louder voice. “I’ll talk to you later, Dylan. Bye,” and the line went dead.


the part in the shower & V has the silver coin & he snaps...LOVE IT!!!


So I guess in 2 days u mean Showest? Was he still filming HSM2 then?

LOVE The description...so HOT lol

"Turn around, bright eyes,” he whispered into her ear, his lips brushing against her hair. His hand slid along her back, to hold her waist. “I missed you at my rehearsal this afternoon. They said you were already finished and….” She turned around slowly in his arm, and looked up at him. She wasn’t smiling, and her eyes were all questions."

HE WAS AN ASS!!!!!!!! NO EXCUSES LOL.. even though he talks so romantically :sigh:

“I know I should have called more often lately. And I’m an ass for not answering your last few e-mails. And calling you Dylan, on the phone, I don’t have any excuses. Just…” and he averted his eyes. “There’s always somebody around. .... and go back to the golf club more confused than before. But I know that I missed you. No. Don’t.” and he put a finger to her lips as she began to speak. “I missed you. All I could think about the last two weeks was being able to see you. As soon as Adam called me about this show, all I could think about was you.”
It sure didn’t seem that way when you were ignoring me.”
“You know…”
“Zac, I can’t do this. I can’t…” and she stepped backwards from his arm.
“Nik, I need to see you…”
“I have to go on in a few minutes. I can’t…” and she turned and quickly walked away, her arms tense at her sides.
Zac stood there for several minutes, his hands in the pockets of his black suit pants. His thumb was running over the texture of the large coin in his pocket, as he listened to the opening of “Good Morning Baltimore.”

OMG I TOTALLY GET WHAT U MEAN BY VEGAS SMEX AKA SHOWWEST...YAY...U SHOULD TOTALLY MAKE ZAC JEALOUS W/BEN!!!WHAT A GREAT IDEA JEN!!!

i think u can go with the photoshoot and bring up some fun stuff of where his hands are LMAO....and whispering in her ear and some of the other cast members noticing...then get Ben involved...JEALOUS ZAC FTW! And maybe bring up Nikki to Zac (she is just suppose ton wait around for him....kind of thing)

THEN BRING ON THE SMEX;)

I CANT BELIEVE U ENDED IT THERE...U TEASED ME LAST NIGHT FOR VEGAS SMEX...I WANT FIRST DIBS WHEN THIS IS WRITTEN!! U OWE ME AS PART OF MY GIFT NOT FINISHED...

I LOVE WHAT U HAVE SO FAR!!
jessica3311[info]jessica3311 on February 18th, 2008 10:27 pm (UTC)
sjkqwkqwoiqopwqwq[wpq]wpqwpqwsmekoqowekq THAT VEGAS SMEX WAS HOOOOOTTTTTT!
HAPPY BELATED BDAY TO ME HAHAHAA!!!

How am I suppose to pay attention in class now lol.
One thing I need to comment on first:
She thought it may have been Amanda, coming to ask her again to join her and Josh.

Amanda wasnt at Showest..maybe change it to Elijah or Brit or maybe even E & Jimmy hehe

OK now onto the good stuff:
His thumb was running over the texture of the large coin in his pocket, as he listened to the opening of “Good Morning Baltimore.”

Awww ur melting my heart....ugh

They smiled through the shoot, his arm reaching around her, his hand grazing her bottom surreptitiously.
Loved that u added this in there bc he so did that LMAO...thank god there was the couch covering his possible TM lol.

Concentrating hard at not looking at the young man across the table and three seats down. The young man who couldn’t keep his eyes off of her.

OMG I can so vision this and feeling their sexual tension :thud:

He entered, bolting the door behind him. Hearing the click of the bolt, her heart began to race and her thoughts became incoherent.

OMG MY heart began to race...i LOVE how descriptive u are!

His arms were around her then, and he held her hands in his, at her chest. Her back was against his stomach and his chin was resting on her head. They stared out over the bright lights and neon signs of the Vegas strip for a long while, neither of them saying a word.... But when he ran his cheek along her hair, when he kissed her cheek and lightly nibbled at her ear lobe, when he whispered her name and asked, “What can I do?” she closed her eyes and just breathed him in.

Again DEAD! WOW :THUD:





jessica3311: Zebra-Jules[info]jessica3311 on February 18th, 2008 10:32 pm (UTC)
More lol
Love how u incorporated the song!

And love love Jealous Zac...“So, what’s with Ben Lyons?” he asked.

baaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

“Do you remember what you said to me, the first night we…,” he interrupted, and she looked up at him questioningly. “You said, ‘I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. But I know that we have this tonight. Just give me this, and we’ll figure the rest out later.’ Will you give me this tonight, Nik? I don’t have any answers yet. But, will you give me this tonight?”

I loved this part because its kinda true....Zac NEEDED this, NEEDED her and its only fair...he did it for her......aw perfect dialog....

“Show me how much you missed me.”

KILL ME lol

OKAY VEGAS SMEX FTW!!!!!!!!!!! My dear god woman!

This was part was way dirty hahaha
Leaning back against the window, she followed his hand from her to his mouth, and he tasted her on his finger. One of his fingers in his mouth, she took the other in her mouth. Their faces were so close, both tasting her on his fingers.

Zikki aint innocent in this series hahaha

Your such a tease to cut off the sex part...i demand more!! Esp. since u broke my heart at the ending with her seeing the Hawaii pics in the People Magazine...o owe me, Carrie & Ash that much....lol

ok now i have to go to class and not think about the Vegas Smex (cough cough add more to it lol)


jessica3311: Newish/Goodish-Bev[info]jessica3311 on February 18th, 2008 10:34 pm (UTC)
By the way thanks for adding in Ben haha...i love how Zac reacted to them hahaha and how he brought him up to Nikki later...serves him right!
Jennifer[info]zacsgirll on February 18th, 2008 10:56 pm (UTC)
Wow! That's quite a comment! Thanks Jess! *hugs* Yeah, Zikki ain't innocent anymore! haha

And thanks for reminding me about Amanda! I will change that for sure!
daydreamer22688[info]daydreamer22688 on February 19th, 2008 04:07 am (UTC)
EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! Hells Bells, stupid Zac! But loved the smex! Supid Zano's ruin everything!! LOVED IT~ MORE SOON!
Beckles[info]sgh_intern on February 19th, 2008 04:18 am (UTC)
I LOVE 'Total Eclipse of the Heart'...eighties power ballards are just WIN...

and this...

she followed his hand from her to his mouth, and he tasted her on his finger. One of his fingers in his mouth, she took the other in her mouth. Their faces were so close, both tasting her on his fingers.

...is too hot to be legal...even in Vegas.
Ashley[info]ashcash7 on February 19th, 2008 04:20 am (UTC)
OMG Jenn...so freakin' wonderful. LOVES it. but you didn't write the smex. POUTS..hahahaha.

and EEK..her seeing the Hawaii pics..and totally excited to see where this goes.

now my job is to bug you for Ch.6 now. haha.

o and more baththub. :D
hairsprayx12: claim[info]hairsprayx12 on February 19th, 2008 04:27 am (UTC)
Obi Wan!!! It was worth waiting 4 (yes count them 4) months for this!!

And you used Bonnie Tyler!!!! Didn't we have a convo about this song early on when I first joined ff. This song kills me!!! It is so them.

This is so much angst and so heart breaking! I was like crying about the whole people magazine thing. And damn him for sending her that post card and lying about Hawaii! For the love of cheese!

More!! More!!! More!!! And did I mention!! MORE!!!!!!!
heartonmysl33v3[info]heartonmysl33v3 on February 19th, 2008 04:55 am (UTC)
Wasn't expecting Ashnessa. lol I wonder if Nessa is starting to get suspicious.

It seems like Zac is confused because he is a good guy and doesn't want to hurt V, not because he's unsure of who he loves. Because it seems pretty apparent it's Nikki. He can't get her out of his head.

So all of Zac's words to Nikki make my heart flutter and it's so sweet that I nearly forgot he said ILY and called V baby! :P LOL. So I feel awful for Nikki cause you know she is in love with him and it's such a tough situation to be in. And I know she and her mother are close but I think it makes sense she lied about it. But then again, would she be lying if she weren't ashamed?

I love that Vanessa is jealous and suspicious of all of the girls she considers pretty...that Zac might be fooling around with but never once even considers Nikki, when it's Nikki he has fallen for, It's kind of ironic and funny. And I am sure he and V had sex since she led him to her room and although he didn't seem thrilled he did still go along with it...but he is a guy. Still sad though.

I feel horrible for Nikki, missing Zac the way she does, knowing he is with V and trying not to think of it but deep down knowing it anyway. *bawls*

Love that you included Lucas and Mo, and that Zac has been talking about Nikki so much that they have noticed! Just put Vanessa with Lucas. :P

Who the heck is Bryan? LOL. Ugh to that last phone call that had to make her feel like shit, especially since he is pretending like he is talking to other people when they talk.

Ouch...he kind of snapped at Vanessa. :P


I have always loved that song you used and I especially think those last lyrics were just perfect. I've always loved that part. And although the sex was hot and beautiful at the same time my heart is still breaking for Nikki. And I know Zac is hurting too but Nikki is the one who you really have to feel sorry for. Zac has a choice...and he is see both of them and, cheating and sneaking around.


And the way you ended it, her seeing the Hawaii photos?! You have officially stomped on my heart. :(


It was so good though and so very well written. I really love how you are using the time line. I'm so sad and emo now. :(






Harry_N_Ginny: Zikki Kiss[info]harry_n_ginny on February 19th, 2008 04:59 am (UTC)
stupid Hawaii and stupid Vanessa and stupid Zac and poor Nikki :( I'm too upset to comment correctly

I loved it the smex was OMFG hottness

the Zac being an @ss not so hot >:(

the end broke my heart :(

please hurry back with more of this one..don't make us wait again :)
Life is a game I mostly suck at...[info]rhythm_hearts on February 19th, 2008 05:02 am (UTC)
Yikes! So great!! I do want to kill him, Jenn, you know that, don't you??

This was so well done!! Can't wait for Chapter 6! When, huh? Huh? Soon? Huh?? :)
Magie[info]magpiez55 on February 19th, 2008 05:51 am (UTC)
Awwww poop on Zachary!!!!

Jenn even if I just started reading, I am madly in love with the story you have created for these two! I love the realtionship they hold in one another, but I am still peeved at Zac for obvious reasons! I can't wait to see where you take our couple next!
mrsmccord[info]mrsmccord on February 19th, 2008 07:20 am (UTC)
Oh my fucking god, Baby. He sent her a POSTCARD from HAWAII????? I think I'm going to be sick. That fucking dicksmack. That piece of shit. I'm so pissed off right now.

Anyway, it was soooo good! Worth the (ridiculously long) wait. And don't forget, my birthday's 8 days away... I hope you've started on chapter 6. :P

Fucking Vanessa. Of course, it would never occur to her that she should worry about his relationship with Nikki. Shallow little whore. She doesn't know Zac very well, does she?

Oh, god, and when he called Nikki Dylan! Break my heart, why don't you?!

The sex was so hot, btw! *thud* But damn. I wish Nikki hadn't fallen for that 'Just let me have tonight' bullshit. Soooo uncool for him to use her own words against her like that. Just, gah! Poor Nikki. She deserves better, and she should demand better. And she knows it.

And her seeing the Hawaii pics! *tears* Oh, so sad. I feel so bad for her. That's going to open her eyes, for sure. God, I just know the next chapter is going to be so full of angst. And I can't wait! :P

Seriously, I totally loved this chapter, Baby. So good. Please don't make us wait 3 months for the next one! Pleeeeeaaaasssseeee!!!!!!!

theirishgirl[info]theirishgirl on February 19th, 2008 06:28 pm (UTC)
I was just about to say...you've done it by the letter with the rest ;)

So it started in Vegas and it could end in Vegas huh? ShoWest ftw.

And fuck..upagainstawindow!smex ftmfw! Guh.

I want to shake him but I see how easy and hard it is all at once. I want to shake her for letting him and yet know there's a lot to be had from so little.

My heart hurts. For them and all they could be.
kimmysuefics[info]kimmysuefics on February 19th, 2008 08:58 pm (UTC)
Jenn! I'm so happy you finally updated!

I love that song! And poor Zac, all confused when we can see it's really Nikki he wants. He's just making things harder on himself and on poor Nikki.

I hope your chapters come sooner :)

[info]musicalgirl07 on February 19th, 2008 10:30 pm (UTC)
Happy with the update

:Loved smex

Want to slap Zac across the head for lying to her hope she gives him hell
Sher: Zac looking at Nikki[info]jcaddict on February 20th, 2008 08:51 pm (UTC)
Poo, LJ just ate my post! Phew, what a busy chapter with so much great movement in the story and yet, nothing changed LOL. Way to keep us wanting more! My favorite part of the chapter was when Zac asked for the night and handed Nikki her words back hoping/expecting that she would afford him the same luxury he'd given her prior. And you're killing me with the ending. NOOOOOO! Don't look Nikki. Avert your eyes!!!
[info]sweetanna80 on February 20th, 2008 09:16 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you wrote another chapter. I feel sad for Nikki because she seems to know how she feels but Zac is really confused. I love that you included Monique, Ryan and Ben.
Good choice with the song too.
The end when she sees the pics of Hawai is sad. I can't wait to read more, what she's going to tell him and what his feelings are.
The Writers Den[info]musewriter on February 22nd, 2008 02:11 am (UTC)
Ok, first let me say that it's such a travesty that I've never read this piece before. It is brilliant, my dear Jenn.

This chapter was amazing! I felt so bad for Zac and Nikki...that they have each other in a sense but on the other hand, they don't. It's so heartbreaking to see them confused. Like they can see what's right in front of them but they can't grasp it:(.

I love that you incorporated such an amazing song!

The whole story is just totally WIN! Can't wait for the next chapter:)
HairsprayloverLuzy[info]lilyloveslink on February 22nd, 2008 10:42 pm (UTC)
EEEP!!!!
i cant believe it
that darn zac and his mind games
Jennifer[info]zacsgirll on March 10th, 2008 07:54 pm (UTC)
Yeah, that seems to be the consensus. Well, we'll see what happens to him in the next chapter. Which is on the way, so keep your eyes open :)

zikki4eva[info]zikki4eva on April 5th, 2008 08:38 pm (UTC)
O..M....G...!!!! GAH! NO WORDS! SERIOUSLY! UPDATE SOON PLEASE!
[info]mystical_world on April 9th, 2008 01:37 am (UTC)
I love the way you write the interaction between the two. This chapter had so much angst it was heartbreaking! I like that you had Vanessa be jealous and suspicious of all of the girls yet having her completely overlook Nikki.

The ending was heartbreaking. What a horrible way for her to see those pictures. I'm curious to see where you plan on taking this.